Grow

Giving Second Chances

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Hey everyone, another reflective post today. I had no intentions of writing about this today but I read something and it made me think, so I thought I’d share my thoughts on it. I read this:

“Sometimes giving someone a second chance, is like giving them another bullet, because they missed you the first time.”

Then I questioned myself as to how many second chances I’ve given people. Then I realised that it’s not only second chances I’ve given people, it’s third and fourth chances. Did they deserve them? Yes, most of the time yes, I like to hope that people can prove me wrong, but then there’s situations where I think of a few people and think you didn’t even deserve a second chance, I should of put a stop to that straight away. However I want to believe there is good in everyone, and in this case, I want to be proven wrong. However it’s also a dangerous thing to do, as it can hurt even more than the first time, if the same thing happens again.

It also made me think have I been given second chances before? Nothing major comes to mind, but I’m pretty sure I have, as I’m not perfect, we are only human, we make mistakes. When I do think of second chances I’ve been given, its like if I’ve done a job wrong and I’ve been given the chance to fix it and do it again, that kind of thing. I don’t think I have done something to anyone where I’ve needed to have a second chance. It’s just not who I am, I over analyse situations too much and the impact its going to have on peoples feelings, for anything bad to happen.

For second chances to happen though, you have to learn to forgive. There are a few people at the moment, I’m debating about giving second chances too. I’m not saying that I’ve changed straight away, but I have noticed a difference since turning 25, and that is I’ve hit a new mindset. I guess I’ve become a bit more ruthless, and looking after myself is becoming an important thing to me. I find myself questioning when things have hurt me, do I deserve this? Is it worth the risk of having it happen again? That’s exactly it though, there’s a point when you realise exactly what you think you deserve. That’s not being vain, or selfish, it’s called looking after yourself and putting yourself first.

If you don’t want to give people second chances then there’s always forgiving them, which is quite a big and mature thing for us to do, but then it stops there. That’s what eventually happens after a second chance that goes wrong anyways isn’t it? It’s a strange world we live in isn’t it? Peoples behaviour constantly shocks us and it makes us wonder where has this even come from? Like how did all of this start.

I also think how do I feel after giving someone a second chance? Do I feel better for it? I guess it depends on what the person does with it. To start off with no, I don’t feel happy about, I feel apprehensive and it’s not a nice feeling. However there are times when I feel happy when people have shown me that I was right to give them another chance. Whereas if we take forgiveness for instance, I always feel better after eventually forgiving someone, no matter how long that may take. I think because you yourself has control over that. Whereas if you go back to second chances, you don’t have control and there is so much uncertainty in how that person is going to use it. If it goes wrong then you get angry with yourself, like why did I put myself through this again? I’m sorry if this post isn’t put together very well and is a bit jumbled. I’m literally just writing all my thoughts down, so it might be a bit forwards and backwards, if you get what I mean.

It doesn’t all have to be a negative thought process though, people can change. I’m sure we’ve all witnessed someone change, and it’s a nice feeling. Some people just need that opportunity to realise the whole seriousness of their actions, for them to do something about it and make a positive change. I’m sure if we really thought about it there are good things we could have missed out on, had we not of given something a second chance. I’ve actually just thought of something that I’m terrible at doing, and that is replying to peoples messages. It’s not that I don’t want to talk, but even though I’m on my own, I have extremely busy life at the moment, and I forget to reply, but luckily I have some very understanding friends who know that, that’s just me and the way I am.

The bottom line is, if you give someone a second chance, you are not foolish, you are hopeful, and one day, you may be in need of one of them too.

A x

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