It’s hardly a surprise that so many of us try our best to stay in our comfort zones is it? Why? Well, it’s exactly what it says isn’t it? Comforting. There’s quite a few of us that are afraid of the unknown and we feel that if we stay in a zone we know well, then not much can go wrong can it? How many of us can honestly say that nothing has gone wrong staying in our comfort zones though? Things go wrong no matter what. In fact I am guilty of being a person staying in their comfort zone and when something does go wrong, it has in the past upset me more. How can something go wrong when I have done all the steps exactly the same? It takes us by surprise and leaves us dealing with the shock. It leaves me questioning myself. Whereas, if we go outside of our comfort zones, we don’t know what’s going to happen. We are dealing with new steps. We aren’t going to be questioning ourselves if things go wrong because we follow the same pattern all the time. Instead we grow.
Comfort zones, are actually danger zones. I bet some of us haven’t looked at it like that before, myself included. We feel safe and warm, its predictable. It’s easier to stay in it, than it is to push out of it. You don’t progress though. It’s grey and you outgrow them. We spend ages building up our comfort zone. Stepping out of one takes trust. We have to trust that we can navigate the situation, and adapt to potential new scenarios that will crop up. We have to accept that there is going to be a lot of the unknown. You have no idea what is outside of your zone. We immediately think of the negatives but not how many positives there could be. Some of the positives can be that we break boundaries of our own limitations, as we can often hold ourselves back. We can become more adaptable to changes, which can often lead you on to the path of success. It can also lead us to gaining more confidence by tackling unfamiliar circumstances, and that’s just three examples of positives.
Comfort does not necessarily mean that we are happy but we stay in them because there’s a few things that we like that make it bearable to stay in them. This could be the people we are surrounded by, the hobbies we participate in etc, things that don’t require us to make a change. These things are just enough for our reasons for staying, but it’s those same things that we don’t want to risk by leaving. Maybe another reason is that perhaps we did risk doing it once, but we had a negative experience and fight or flight kicked in and we’ve decided we do not want to put ourselves back there again in case the same thing happens again. Repetition is our friend. Like anything, the longer you leave doing things again and again, the more you build up a fear. If we break it down though, what is the fear? Maybe failure? The false expectations appearing real? It’s an uncomfortable feeling, but is it going to kill us? It’s not guaranteed that we would fail but if we did, it’s nothing that we can’t get through.
How can we leave our comfort zones? Pushing outside of it can come in lots of different ways. Are you someone who says yes a lot? I used to be a person that said yes to everything because I wanted the people around me to be happy and because I said yes, it became uncomfortable to say no to the things I didn’t want to do. Try and break the cycle and next time something comes up that you want to say no to, just do it, and the more you do it, the easier it becomes. You also start to value yourself more by dong this. You could also make a list of all the things that make you afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Start off with the least scariest and work your way through them. The more you start marking off and achieving, the scariest things on your list, won’t seem as daunting anymore. I know change doesn’t happen over night and it’s definitely not easy, but small steps really is the way. Repetition really is key and works wonders for your confidence.
The key is to try and not think too much about it. The more you think about things, the longer you have to talk yourself out of them. As someone who could place in the top 3 if overthinking was a sport, I know that it’s difficult and I am guilty of staying in my “zone” with things. I listed some tools above because they are things that help me and hopefully help you as well. It is good to step out and test our limits, beneficial in fact. It’s like the saying “do one thing everyday that scares you.” It doesn’t have to be a big thing, it could be as small as making a phone call which I admit I once saw as something big, however I’m better at this now. The thing to remember is even your current comfort zone was once uncomfortable. It’s also important to surround yourself with people who push, support and encourage you. Those who genuinely want you to succeed and do well in life, are the one’s who are also going to help you to push yourself past comfort and do things you thought were once unachievable.
Overall, although it is a scary feeling and may cause a little anxiety, when you get past that part it’s so liberating. You find more of yourself that you forget about those first unnerving feelings and everything becomes so much more worthwhile.
What’s helped you to step out of your comfort zone?
Amy x
littlemissminor 