Autumn has always felt like a season of change. Darker evenings, cooler air, and trees slowly releasing the leaves they no longer need. There is something quite beautiful about that reminder from nature. Letting go is not always a loss, but sometimes a necessary part of moving forward. As the year begins to wind down, many of us start thinking about goals, new beginnings, and the things we want to welcome into our lives in the year ahead. I’m starting to realise that creating space for something new often means releasing what we have been carrying for so long. There is a very popular quote that goes something like “if it costs you your peace, then it’s not worth your time.” I definitely have things that cost me mine. Maybe there are things we aren’t ready to let go of yet, or perhaps it’s too hard to let go of them, I am not saying it is easy, but we can at least try. This year has been a challenging one, and lately I’ve found myself feeling the weight of everything I’ve been holding onto. The thoughts, expectations, worries, and things that no longer feel aligned with who I am becoming. It got me wondering, what do I need to gently let go of this autumn?
The first thing I’m choosing to let go of this autumn is the pressure to have everything figured out. Right now, I honestly have no idea what the future looks like for me, and that is something I’m learning to become comfortable with. I have always been someone who likes to have a plan, a clear direction, and an idea of what comes next, so not having those answers can feel quite unsettling. It isn’t just one area of my life where things feel uncertain. I genuinely don’t know what direction life is going to take me in. At times, that can feel scary, but I’m also beginning to see the beauty in it. There is something exciting about not knowing exactly what is around the corner and allowing life to unfold naturally. For so long I have found myself looking ahead, worrying about what comes next, instead of fully appreciating where I am right now. I’m learning that not every question needs an immediate answer, and not every part of life needs to be mapped out before I can enjoy it. So, I’m letting go of the need to control every detail and trusting that things will fall into place when they are meant to. I believe there is a plan for me, even if I can’t see it clearly yet.
The next thing I am letting go of is the need to explain myself. As an overthinker, and someone who tends to process things deeply, I often feel the need to explain my thoughts, my choices, and my reasons behind things. I think part of me believes that if I can just explain myself properly, then people will understand me better and there will be no room for misunderstanding. However I’m starting to realise that constantly explaining myself can sometimes come from a place of needing reassurance or approval. Instead of trusting my own decisions, I can find myself trying to convince others that I am making the right choice. This is something I want to leave behind. If I say no to something, that should be enough. I don’t need to justify my boundaries or provide a list of reasons for why I have made a decision. If I choose to do something differently, I don’t need everyone else to agree with me for it to be the right choice for my life. Of course communication is important, but there is a difference between explaining something and feeling like I have to defend myself. The right people will respect my choices, even if they don’t always understand them. This is why I’m choosing to trust myself more.
Perfectionism is a big one for me. I don’t know where it comes from, but I have this belief in my head that everything needs to be done perfectly, even though I know nothing in life truly is. Sometimes perfectionism disguises itself as having high standards, but it can create a lot of unnecessary pressure. One thing I have noticed about myself is that I often struggle to let other people help me. This isn’t because I think I can do things better than everyone else, but because I find it difficult to let go of control. I can have a standard in my head, and I worry that if someone else helps, it won’t be done in the way I would have done it. I’m realising that this expectation isn’t fair on myself or on others. By trying to do everything to my own impossible standard, I can end up taking on too much and making things harder . I’m learning that accepting help means allowing myself to share the weight. I also want to let go of waiting for the “perfect” moment before starting something. There will never be a perfect time, a perfect plan, or a perfect version of myself that suddenly appears and makes everything easier. Sometimes we just have to start, learn along the way, and trust that progress is better than perfection. Good enough, is still enough.
I am also learning to let go of the belief that letting go means giving up. This is a difficult one for me because I am someone who will try absolutely everything I can to make something work before I consider walking away. Whether that is a relationship with someone, an idea, or something I have invested a lot of time and energy into, my instinct is usually to keep trying. I’m beginning to understand that there is a difference between giving up and letting go. Giving up can come from a place of losing hope, whereas letting go can come from a place of acceptance. Sometimes we have to recognise that something is no longer right for us, even if we wanted it to be. Letting go doesn’t mean something didn’t matter. It means accepting that not everything is meant to stay forever. This can create space for new opportunities, experiences, and for growth in ourselves. When it comes to relationships, letting go can actually be an act of self-respect. There is only so much we can do on our own, and we cannot carry the responsibility of making something work if it requires more than just us. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is accept what we cannot change and allow ourselves to move forward.
People pleasing is the next thing I want to let go of. I like making people happy, and I hate the thought of disappointing anyone, but how many times have I said yes to something when I really wanted to say no? How many times have I made time for someone else, or taken on more than I could handle because I didn’t want to let someone down? The problem is that eventually, it catches up with me. I end up trying to fit everything in, stretching myself too thin and burning myself out in the process. I forget to check in with myself. I’m giving everyone else my time and energy, but leaving very little for me. Choosing myself can still feel selfish sometimes. Saying no can come with guilt, even when I know it is the right thing for me. I am allowed to have boundaries, and I am allowed to prioritise my own needs without feeling guilty for it. I’m also learning that disappointing someone doesn’t necessarily mean I have done something wrong. Sometimes people will be disappointed when we set boundaries, and that’s okay. I cannot make everyone happy all of the time, and I shouldn’t have to sacrifice my own happiness trying to. Afterall, if I am constantly making everyone else happy, who is making me happy?
Lastly, I am letting go of the expectations I placed on this year. I thought 2026 would look very different from how it has turned out, but life had other plans. I’ve moved house, lost people close to me, and found myself dealing with situations that I never expected to face. There have been some really difficult moments, and there have been times where I have struggled a lot mentally. There have also been some really unexpected positives. I’ve made new friendships, become healthier, and got out of my comfort zone. Sometimes we put so much pressure on a new year to be our year. We make plans, set goals and imagine all the things we are going to achieve, but we forget that life doesn’t always follow the plan we have created for it. So much can happen in twelve months, and there is no way of knowing what is waiting around the corner. Maybe that is what I need to let go of most. The idea that a year has to look a certain way for it to have been a good one. Sometimes life changes direction, and all we can do is adapt, appreciate the good moments when they come, and be gentle with ourselves through the difficult ones. I’m letting go of the year I thought I was going to have and making peace with the year I actually did.
Writing this has made me realise that so many of the things I’m letting go of, are things that I have been holding onto because I thought they protected me. I didn’t realise how much pressure I put on myself. Having a plan made me feel safe. Explaining myself made me feel understood. Trying to do everything perfectly made me feel in control. Sometimes the things we hold onto the tightest, are the things that weigh us down the most. It’s not until you take a step back, that you realise just how much you were clinging onto. This autumn, I want to choose a little more trust. Trust that I don’t need to have all the answers yet. Trust that I can choose myself without feeling guilty. Trust that what is meant for me will find me at the right time. Sometimes the most beautiful things happen, when we allow ourselves to release what we have outgrown. I saw something the other day that said, “if our hands are always full, then you can’t reach for anything new” and that really made me stop and think. I don’t know exactly what the future looks like, but maybe I don’t need to. For now, I’m learning to be present, to appreciate where I am, and to let go of what I no longer need to carry.
So as we move into the final months of the year, I’ll leave you with this, what is one things you are ready to let go of this autumn?
Amy x
littlemissminor.com 