I’ve been debating wether to post this for a good week, but as promised, I’m going to be honest with you. Everyone thinks bloggers or even you-tubers, have these perfect lives, because we choose what you can see, however we are still human. I know my posts are depressing at the moment but just bare with me so I can let the hurt come out, and maybe help some of you, to know that you aren’t on your own, and if any of you need a chat, feel free to get in touch.
Friday 5th January
It’s 11:08pm and I never thought for one minute I’d be sat here filling out an application form to live on my own. Move out of our home. I thought he was the one.
I thought I was the one.
No one knows what I would do to get back to where we had it. However I don’t even know when that point was. I thought we still had it. I wish we could get back to the feelings we think we’ve lost. I generally don’t know when I’ll be alright again, but I am trying so so hard. I know I’m depressing to be around right now, or even talk to. I’m sorry. If your heart is in a million pieces, what piece do you follow? So lost, so confused, so many thoughts and feelings. It’s the memories that hurt. Everything is starting to feel like it never really existed. I wish it was just a dream. Or a nightmare. A really bad nightmare.
I wish I could just rewind and freeze time.
I wish I did more. I wish I gave more. I wish I listened more.
I wish I knew it, when we lost it.
P.S A little update since then, I got the house…