I think it’s safe to say we are all guilty of this right? Whether it’s blowing a diet because one day we decided we wanted to eat like its a man vs food challenge, having a deadline for something really important, but decided that, that the next episode of the series on Netflix your watching, really can’t wait, or knowing your going to have an unpleasant conversation with someone, but first you need a wardrobe clear out. There are so many ways we self sabotage, but why?
The biggest reason that stands out to me, is us thinking to ourselves we don’t deserve happiness. This is a crazy thought right? We work so hard to get to where we want to be, achieve the things we want to achieve, that we then feel we need to ruin it and erase it all. It’s like we feel worse at succeeding at things, that we decide to call it quits and self sabotage. When you put it that way, it sounds ridiculous.
Other reasons I feel I self sabotage myself is feeling quite empty. My last post I mentioned that me and life have a love hate relationship at the moment. I compare my life to a lot of other peoples lives on places like Instagram, and look at what they have accomplished but forget to look at my own achievements. You could say that well the simple answer to that is to unfollow those accounts. The thing is, I actually like these accounts, its going to sound a bit confusing here, but although I compare myself a lot to these accounts, these people inspire me a lot. I recognize my thought process when I do think this way, I just need to try and switch off somehow, or think, they’ve done this, but look what I’ve achieved as well. I don’t know guys, it’s a difficult one.
How can we stop it?
When we self sabotage it’s usually because we have a voice in our heads. The voice is coming from somewhere. Rather than just irrationally think about it, we should be listening to it, trying to figure out what it’s trying to tell us. It’s there for a reason, and there could be a deeper meaning to it, before we self destruct. When we have a plan and we follow it, but then we get in our own way, and then we get freaked out by the plan, and then we feel like going against it, take yourself out of that bubble. Take a step outside of it. Think to yourself, why am I having these thoughts? What is this voice trying to tell me? If I decide to go against it, how is it going to make me feel? Even worse. Why do I want to make myself feel that way? What am I gaining from this? Nothing apart from a load of bad feelings, and a weight of self sabotage. Is that what we want? No.
Don’t get me wrong, even though I’ve been putting this into practice, sometimes you fall into that pattern again. However the minute you realise it, I promise you, you will start feeling so much better, and then eventually that old routine of thinking, will change into this new routine of thinking, and you become a much happier person, and will find you achieve a lot more. If plans and goals aren’t happening straight away when you want them too, remember with time and patience they will. I’m currently experiencing this with something at the moment, which by the end of the month I’ll be able to share with you. For now though, things worth having, don’t come easy.
If our plans don’t work out?
So we gain more experience. Things aren’t always going to work out and we need to recognize that too. However I am a huge believer that everything happens for a reason and timing etc. If something like that happens, then it’s because something bigger and better in life is going to come along and that goal or plan, was never mean’t to be. However if its something that you can do again, see it now that you have more knowledge you can now apply, which is going to help you loads. Nothing is a failure, even though for the next 3 weeks your going to feel like you’ve failed, there are so many positives you can take away from it, which makes the failure invalid. Trust me, I have experience this to know, and it gives you such a better mindset and outlook on things too. You can always take away a positive from most things. Don’t be scared for things to go wrong.
At some point in our lives, we will have all experienced self sabotage, some more than others. The most important thing is we need to recognize when we are doing this. Try and make sense of that little voice in our head, and realise that we shouldn’t be our own reason, for not achieving our own goals and accomplishments. I totally get that it’s easier said than done, but little steps, will create you to not be as harsh on yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to have off days, but I’m going to look back and read through this post, and think to myself, I don’t deserve to do this to myself. We need to realise our self worth.
We need to be kinder to ourselves.