How To Get Past Self-Doubt

Around 85% of people experience self-doubt at some point in their lives, with approximately 70% of adults admitting to having feelings of self-doubt. It can feel like a constant battle with your mind at times. I have briefly mentioned struggling with writing for this blog. I feel like people are probably thinking, “Why is she writing a blog, it’s silly” or “What’s she doing that for, she’s nothing/ a nobody.” I feel like I’m being judged and laughed at. Not only do I think about what everyone else probably thinks but I also have my own thoughts of “you’re not even good at this, why are you trying” or “no one cares what you have to say.” It’s one of the reasons I wanted to write this post, as I try to write two posts a week, one self improvement/growth and one just less serious but I’ve been a little quiet because I’m doubting myself a lot and it’s not just with blogging, my confidence is quite low at the moment and I know it’s not a great quality to have but I am working on it and so let’s get into ways we can get past this.

I think first you have to establish what is causing your self-doubt. The reasons could be past experiences, negative self-talk, comparison to others, fear of failure, perfectionism, lack of self-confidence, and external criticism. These can kickstart the cycle of questioning one’s abilities and worth. It’s important to recognise these triggers and work on building self-esteem, setting realistic goals, challenging negative thoughts, and seeking support when needed. When we have negative past experiences or engage in self-critical thought, it can create a mindset that undermines our confidence. Comparing ourselves to others often leads to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. The fear of failure can make us question our capabilities and worth, while perfectionism sets unrealistic standards that are hard to meet, leading to self-doubt when we fall short. By understanding these triggers and their impact, we can work on addressing them to build a more positive self-image.

I admit I struggle with all these reasons but some more than others, two of them being the fear of failure and perfectionism. I know perfectionism doesn’t exist, but does that stop me from trying to achieve this? No. When things don’t go exactly how I visioned them in my mind, it actually really upsets me more than it probably should. I just want things to be the best they possibly can, for me and for those around me that I care about. When I feel I’m not achieving this, I feel like I’m failing as a person, which leads me on to the fear of failing. This is going to probably sound a bit morbid, but I am very much aware that we only get one life. Therefore, I have lots of things I want to achieve and do. When I feel like things aren’t going in the right direction or I’m having set backs, I do start doubting myself and just feel like maybe I’m just not good enough to achieve these things and then start going into a downwards spiral. I do get overwhelmed, though, and I’ll be honest, myself is probably part of the problem.

Overcoming self-doubt can be challenging, but there are strategies that can help. One approach is to practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, like you would treat a friend in a similar situation. It should be easy, really, shouldn’t it? It’s not, well, in my opinion, as I find it so much easier to be harsh on myself than to be able to be positive about myself and that’s where challenging negative thoughts is another helpful strategy to practice. Look at the evidence of what supports those thoughts and what doesn’t. To combat thoughts of failing rather than looking at the bigger picture or the end goal, try setting more small goals that are more realistic for the now that helps you reach that end goal. That way, you can see the progress and have more successes to celebrate. Additionally, surrounding yourself with supportive and positive people can boost your confidence. I find it easy to see the positives in other peoples situations, but even though I try to look for small positives, I can sometimes struggle with my own.

Whether you like her or not, J.K Rowling, I’m sure she needs no introduction, but the author of the Harry Potter series was faced with numerous rejections before her books became a worldwide sensation. Despite the setbacks and personal struggles, she persevered and believed in her work. Her resilience and determination eventually led to the creation of one of the most successful book series in history, proving that self-doubt can be conquered with persistence and self-belief. If you really wanted to go back to history, take a look at Winston Churchill, a prominent figure in British history. Despite facing personal and professional challenges throughout his life, including political setbacks and self-doubt, Churchill persevered and became one of the greatest wartime leaders in history. His leadership during World War 2 and his ability to inspire confidence and resilience in the face of adversity are a testament to overcoming self-doubt and achieving greatness.

We should all embrace our strengths and uniqueness. You may feel things that are unique about you are weaknesses, but it could be what someone loves about you and what helps you achieve your goals. A positive mindset is equally important as it influences how you perceive and respond to challenges. Cultivating a positive outlook can improve resilience, reduce stress, and enhance overall happiness. It can help you navigate difficult situations with a constructive attitude and find solutions more effectively. This can only be done if you look after your mental and emotional health. Without this, you’re always going to have a cloud of negativity hung over you. I truly believe nothing is impossible, but it also depends on how much work you are willing to put in yourself. Self-doubt will be an obstacle that comes and goes and then comes back again. I don’t know anyone who has managed to completely get rid of it, but if you can do it once, you can do it again.

Everyone will go through self-doubt at some point in their life. Even those who seem the most confident of people will have gone or are going through periods of questioning themselves. It’s a journey that requires self-compassion, self-awareness, and consistent effort. It is a common experience, and it doesn’t define your worth or potential. By challenging negative thoughts, you can gradually build confidence and belief in yourself. Embrace the process and celebrate your progress as I don’t feel we celebrate the little achievements enough because we are too busy looking at the bigger picture. Trust in your abilities to navigate through moments of uncertainty. We all have the tools we need to overcome this. You are capable of achieving great things, and self-doubt should never be a barrier to realising your full potential.

Amy x