This isn’t something I usually write about compared to the usual makeup, beauty, films etc, however I wanted to take a risk and share this with you. When I’m working, I’m usually in a corner on my own, which makes me think about lots and lots of different things and then my mind wonders and I get deeper and deeper into my thoughts. This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately though and something that’s always in the back of my mind. I was thinking, usually its quite easy to forgive people and move on, you don’t necessarily have to be talking to them, but you have forgave them and left it at that. However sometimes it’s really tough because sometimes there is too many bad memories that overpower the good ones,and they get left in a shadow.
I’m not going to mention who, as this is a personal post as it is, but there’s a person in my life, or shall I say out, who should be playing a huge part in my life, but hasn’t. I can’t take back the things they’ve done, the painful memories they have scarred me for the rest of my life, the feelings they put me through. I wish I could, but I can’t. The bad things cancel out the good, to the point I can’t even remember the good memories anymore. This makes me sad really. Even though things didn’t work out, that person should be there for me on the other end of the phone, even if they have their own life, We shouldn’t be strangers. I wonder if you ever even think about me? Then there’s, what if I was to ever get married, would you invite that person? The person who doesn’t even know your birthday.
Forgiveness. 11 letters. That’s all. Its funny how such a word, has a powerful meaning behind it. You can forgive but you can never forget. Sometimes its hard to even do that. Maybe its an apology I’m after and that’s the reason why I find it hard to forgive. Or maybe its because, you’ve let others down, which are close to my heart. People say the past is in the past but it also makes you who you are today. I think that’s why I have a few walls.Everything happens for a reason though and I now have someone who looks after the people close to me and me, and someone who plays a much better figure, which I couldn’t ask for more really,and that’s all the matters. Sometimes I just wonder what if I had made more of an effort, would it of changed things? I blame myself sometimes and wonder if I’m being too harsh. That’s only normal though, I think.
I’m so sorry, if there is anyone still reading haha, it might seem a bit confusing, but I just wanted to share a few thoughts with you and be a bit more serious, to show a different side. We are only human right?
I just want to leave on a quote:
“Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.”
I use to feel guilty, because I feel like I should forgive this person, but I think now after doing a lot of thinking I have forgave. It doesn’t change the past but it does enlarge the future. I think now I’m happy for this person, as they got a fresh start, and have learn’t to love and be a better person.