Growing up is hard right? I’m 23 and still don’t feel like I have my whole life figured out. You are not getting any younger, and you can’t stop yourself from getting older. Every second that goes by, you are getting older and older. I recently mentioned in an Instagram post, that even though I am going to be 24 in a few weeks, I can’t help but feel like I’m getting old. People I’ve said that too, give me so many funny looks and reactions and laugh at me, but it is how I feel and I think its because of how the world is in this day and age. Truth is though, I am still in the lower end of the 20’s!
However I still can’t help but think..
Am I failing?
Shouldn’t I have my whole life planned out by now?
Am I getting boring?
Social media plays a big part in this, and there’s times when I’ve just felt like deleting it all. In all fairness though, I don’t really use Facebook anymore, but everything else I still use very regularly, however it’s not so easy to just delete it all. I enjoy using these platforms, and being creative with these platforms, so for me, deleting these aren’t an option. I think for me, its seeing what other people are doing at my age and even younger than me, and although I’m excited for them and happy people are doing well, it always makes me reflect on my own life and whether I’m doing well.
A lot of my friends and people I use to go to college and school with also have their own families now and some are married, and some are engaged. This is a weird one for me, because I don’t want children, and I definitely don’t feel ready to have children. I also never wanted to get married because I didn’t believe in it, but starting to come round to the idea of it. Even though I don’t want these things and I don”t feel ready for them right now, it does at times, make me feel like I’m not where I should be in life. I do feel the majority of the time that I’m happy with where I am with things in life, it’s just every now and again I see people’s engagement photo’s and baby pictures, and think to myself, is what I’m doing in life equally as good?
This one use to get to me a lot and that is most of my friends went to university. I did do a blog post on this and it seemed like I wasn’t on my own about the reasons why I didn’t go, and how it felt not going. I got into university, but at the time it didn’t feel right, and then I waited another year, but still didn’t feel ready. I felt like I was missing out a lot, even though I didn’t feel ready and other reasons, but I constantly use to think of the what ifs? Its only the last few years that I’ve actually felt better about this, but also more recently I feel better about it too, because I have been looking at open university courses, and how they are possible, if that’s what I decide I want to do.
Am I boring? I don’t go clubbing anymore, it’s not that I don’t go anymore, its that I don’t go as much as what I did when I was younger. I’ve done all that going out every weekend business, and at the time, that was exciting, but now I find that when I do go out, its more exciting because I haven’t been in so long. A big part of the reason why I don’t go out as much as well, is that it doesn’t do wonders for my anxiety. I rather use my Odeon card and have a cinema day, or another that I got really into, was visit local National Trust places, because I love history and you can find out a lot of interesting things. A lot of you may feel like its quite an older persons thing to do and enjoy, but it’s really good to clear your head, and just have time to breathe for a few hours, but also enjoy some of the UK’s most stunning places. I do find it hard to tell people my age about doing these things, because I feel like I should be partying, but I enjoy it.
Dream job. I don’t see a lot of people doing there dream jobs which is a shame, but there is a few. Don’t get me wrong, where I work now is good and they have really helped me out, and I’ve learnt so so much, but I’m starting to worry that I’m running out of time to be in my dream job, because I feel like I should be doing it now, as I’m get older. However it seems to be that the job I want to do, a lot of people start it quite late in life, so that’s some reassurance. I have also applied for it in the past, and actually got pretty close to a way in, but unfortunately it wasn’t my time. Last month another position came up for another role within it, and I am so annoyed at myself because I missed the deadline. I’m going to remain positive though, and continue to keep trying,
All in all, I don’t feel like growing up is easy, and I feel like the pressure on people now, is more than ever. Don’t let the media make you feel like you’ve failed, and not doing well because your journey is different, that’s what makes your life unique. Don’t feel like you have to force yourself to do something you don’t want to do, because the majority of people your age are doing it. You never know, while your looking at someones life on social media, that person might just wish they had yours. We should all be supportive of each other, and happy for each other, no matter where we are at in life.