Grow

Who Are You?

Sounds like a straight forward question doesn’t it? Now ask yourself again. Its not as easy to answer as you initially think. We all have visions of who we would like to be, or what we don’t like to be, but who actually are we?

I guess the question is are we being ourselves? Are we being the person we think people want to see, and how we should be? I have spent a big chunk of my life, not being my true self, because I have had many comments by people in the past of things they would like to change about me, and the more you hear of that, the more it has a knock on effect on you. I felt like I was hiding a lot of things, because those certain people didn’t like it, and people just want to feel accepted and liked, don’t they? When really, we shouldn’t care, and tell them where the door is, lock it, and bolt that door shut.

Since lockdown has begun, I have discovered more about myself than ever before. I have really taken time to work on myself and listen to myself, and think about if I was happy with the person I was right then. I wasn’t. Once again I had lost myself. Well not anymore. I am going to be who I am as a person, and if people don’t like that, then that’s fine, I don’t need to be accepted by everyone, which is something I so use to desperately want. In matter of fact, I have had more people saying they really like this version of me recently than ever, and I’m just being myself.

Never ever, let someone change you and tell you different.

I am not a girly girl. I am really into my fashion, but I like wearing band t-shirts, watching the formula 1, and geeking out that someone has found a dinosaur footprint. (I love dinosaurs) I really love history, and politics for that matter, and I love going to the theatre when I can. I also like building Lego, but enjoy dancing, singing badly, and baking. I am often told by people that I have an unapproachable face “bitch resting face” however this really isn’t the case! Come talk to me, but not all at once because I don’t manage well in big groups haha. I am a complete weirdo, I will come out with things that will make you give me strange looks, I get sayings wrong all the time like “the cream that got the cat”. I am completely goofy, quiet at first, until you get to know me, then you’ll wish I was quiet. I am so very stubborn, a sassy pants, and will have my own opinion, not follow everyone else’s.

I will put myself out there for people, and just want to help people, and see people smile and be happy, although it’s taken me a long time, I am fully aware you can’t please everyone. My heart is actually very fragile and has taken a bit of a beating in the past, which leads me on to say, deep down underneath the stone, I can be an emotional person, I do have feelings in there somewhere. I can be a worrier, its part of the anxiety, and a worrier, if you don’t answer me, then I will come up with 10 different answers myself. I really don’t like this part of me and it’s something I need to work on. I have a big heart though, that only means well, and just wants to have fun in life.

Who are you?

I am me.

A x

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