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New Year Chat

Hey guys, I have been a bit quiet on here lately but I just wanted to wish you a belated Happy New Year. I hope this year is better for everyone, despite it not starting great. It’s a strange one isn’t it? We were all relieved to see the back end of 2020, but we didn’t realise what was facing us around the corner. This lockdown feels harder than the others this time round. I feel like we all saw a third lockdown coming, just not for this long. I actually have had a bit of a blip, I say bit, it actually hit me quite hard, and it started probably around Christmas Day, and I feel like I’m just starting to come through the other side of it now. I don’t think I have ever felt that low ever, even at the height of my depression, this was beyond me, and a really scary time. I hope I have to never feel and think that way again. I’m sorry if you are looking for some positivity, I try so hard to be, I just get down at times, and I wouldn’t be being myself if I was to do a really happy post, pretending everything is fine, when in fact I am really struggling to deal with this as much as a lot of other people, and if that is you, you are not alone.

I really didn’t want to bring the Covid talk on to this blog, but this is where it’s at, we can’t ignore the major situation that is going on across the world. That’s just it though isn’t it, sometimes you just want a little escape from it all, but it’s all you hear about across tv and media. Nothing else is going on really because we can’t do anything, so it’s the topic of conversation at the moment. I totally understand its important to talk about these things, I have really done my fair share, but when a different topic comes along, I totally welcome it.

It’s quite a strange situation to be in. I want to make goals for this year, but none of us have a clue how this year is going to be. I think that’s the main thing that gets to me, is the unknown. Not knowing if there is anymore nasty surprises lurking. However it is said that this is the final hurdle, and I really hope that this is the case. January is always a difficult month, but this year even more so. I just don’t feel motivated, neither have the energy to do anything. I just keep seeing everything piling up.

I am so sorry if you have lost loved ones through this horrible virus. I can’t even imagine the pain you’re going through loosing someone this way. Businesses who are struggling, or who are no longer here, I really feel for you. Those who are keyworkers, thank you.

This has all taught us one big fat lesson, and that is time is precious, and life is fragile, there is so much we might of thought we appreciated, but in fact didn’t enough. It’s definitely a wake up call, and when we can do things again, I know for a fact I will not be taking any of it for granted again. I will also be living in the moment more, taking everything in by the second.

So I just wanted to remind you that if your feeling this way as well, have days where you don’t feel like doing anything, feeling a little lost and not have an actual clue what is going on anymore, you are not alone. There is an end point to all this, I don’t have the answer as to when but these restrictions won’t last forever, how you are feeling won’t last forever and we will get through this, no matter how impossible that may seem right now, and in 10 years time we might be finding masks around all different corners of our homes, and remembering how strong we are as people. I feel like I’ve jinxed myself, I’ve always said that I want to be part of a major historical event, but I didn’t want this, I didn’t sign up for that haha. I hope we start seeing a change soon in statistics, and that we will start seeing that what we are doing is working.

I really hope everyone is staying safe, and looking after themselves.

Virtual hugs.

A x

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